Brian Witherspoon announced in a press conference that during a rookie hazing prank gone wrong he lost both of his thumbs in a freak accident and has not been able to hold on to the ball since.

“It’s hard to run with your pockets stuffed with cash… I mean, if I could, I would… but it’s hard.”

Reggie Nelson explains why he didn’t tackle Justin Gage by saying, “I thought I’d get a head start on practicing for Dancing With the Stars, it’s never to soon to think about retirement.”

Jerry Porter will be placed on IR for the remainder of the 2008 and 2009 season. When asked why the Jaguars receiver commented with " I’m going to have surgery. I’m having a titanium skeleton put in along with two pairs of every muscle so if i injure one I’ll have another one ready to go."

Tony Pashos is going through therapy. He claims that all the holding he does is repercussions from a childhood without hugs.

Rasheen Mathis filed a lawsuit against Reggie Nelson for $500,000. Mr. Mathis claims to have a contract incentive worth that amount if he makes the Pro Bowl. He further claims that he could not earn the bonus as Mr. Nelson missed his defensive assignments too many times during the year.

The court awarded the settlement when Mr. Nelson failed to appear.

enough said.

The Jaguars star RB was placed on the Injured Reserve after an injury to his back. Jones-Drew said in a press conference, “I tried to carry the whole team on my back, but it was just too much pressure.”

The AP reports that Harvey’s agent announced that he will become the new face of Lego’s Building Blocks. “Lego, Inc. and Derrick Harvey are a perfect fit”, said Harvey’s agent, “the ad campaign has changed slightly but we are still happy with it.” The Jaguars drafted Harvey in the 2008 draft to become the face of the Jaguar defense and become a “building block” for the team’s future. The AP has been told the original campaign carried this same theme, with it’s line of futuristic building blocks, but has since scrapped the whole idea. “We’ve come up with a new campaign that is much edgier, aiming towards the next generation of youngsters” said Lego, exec Jørgen Vig Knudstorp. “We’ve also tailored it to Derrick’s transformation on the field. Lego has moved from the building block theme to the simple phrase, ‘Get Blocked’”. The new commercial featuring Harvey matches his lack of personality. It simply is Harvey playing with Lego’s. He turns to the camera at the end of the commercial and says, “Derrick Harvey gets BLOCKED, do you?”.