A Personal Message to Jerry Porter: Get a new agent...NOW!

by silencecs on May 15, 2008 10:45 PM EDT

Guys... I don’t know where to begin here... this is insane.... What is Jerry doin'!

I mean c'mon man; you are a professional athlete... What are you doing making second-rate, grade-B, stock-room footage for an underwear commercial involving some d-bag who wants to play around with you in briefs!!

I mean tighten up man!

Jerry Porter recently took part in a Hanes promotional event that yielded no small degree of painful-to-watch comedy. Much like Kerouac’s Dean Moriarty, this chap Dave travels across the country, bringing an optimistic everyman joie de vive to a hodgepodge of quirky locales. Except Dean Moriarty didn’t challenge quasi-celebrities to see who can put a pair of underwear over their clothes the fastest. This is Dave…

As if this whole “guys playing underwear games” didn’t lend enough of an air of fruitiness to the proceedings, Dave’s decision to groom an imperceptible speck of something from Jerry’s brow took it to a whole new level.

Jerry says he “probably won’t” win, but he’s “not going to lose.” I have no idea what that means. At the risk of spoiling the ending: Jerry cheats– a skill learned with the Raiders– in order to win– a skill not learned with the Raiders.

A final look at the scoreboard shows that Dave has four wins against eleven losses. We presume this means Dave is now mathematically eliminated from the Underwear Race Playoffs.

If you feel you simply must see the whole thing, here it is:

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Comments

It makes me so sad...

Poor Jerry. He needs a new agent.

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by River City Rage on May 15, 2008 11:22 PM EDT reply actions

HAHAHA....

Right on!
Although it kinda makes me like him more, in a weird sorta way. He seems like a genuinly good guy from the video and it kinda makes me want to kick it with him. I like this dude… haha

by silencecs on May 15, 2008 11:37 PM EDT reply actions

Looks like a man .....

just having fun. Porter looks like a personable and friendly guy. Considering what is going on with professional athletes getting arrested weekly, it’s seems silly to be critical of a guy trying to be accessible and fan friendly. Only time will tell on whether Porter is a bust and a detriment to the team or fulfills the role of #1 receiver and leads the Jags to the promised land. In my mind, so far so good.

by Jaggernaut on May 15, 2008 11:54 PM EDT reply actions

Nobody's down on the guy... I actually like him more now

But I mean… c’mon… that video is priceless, and I hope he hears it in the lockerroom (i’m sure he will). That is classic stuff and I, for one, was rolling on the floor when I found the vid. I mean… what a genuinly good hearted and funny guy.

by silencecs on May 16, 2008 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions

Keep the comments coming... Chris and I really appreciate them and it does wonders for discussion on Jags stuff

We are just regular guys who love the Jags… nothing makes us more qualified than y’all to write stuff so hammer us with comments… requests… and fanposts… we love ‘em!

by silencecs on May 16, 2008 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions

Nice title RCR

I like the new title bro, and I’ll adjust my verbage accordingly in future posts.
-Collin

by silencecs on May 16, 2008 12:43 AM EDT reply actions

Jerry Porter

I really like this guy, and it amazes me how bad of a rap he got while with the Raiders. I talked to a reporter who covers the Raiders, and he said what an ass he was to the fans and media. He seems like a very down to earth, approachable guy now that he is with the Jags. I personally think this guy will make a big impact for the Jags, and Marshal Faulk of the NFL network thinks the same.

You are doing a great job Collin in bringing all this great info on players and coaches. I like to make a request, if you or Chris could provide some info on Gregg Williams, and what to expect from the Jags new D-cord. I think Williams is going to be the Jags best addition of them all, and its real exciting knowing what this guy brings to the table. I can’t wait to see how the Jags defense will play. I am already salivating at the thought of seeing Manning getting his melon head slammed to the turf, and him getting up crying to the officials, and bitching at his O-lineman about being hit.

by NASF on May 16, 2008 11:31 AM EDT reply actions

This is off the subsject...

but I saw something the other day that was really surprising. What current Jaguar played his high school football in the state of New York, and as a junior had the fastest 100 and 200 meter dash times in the whole state? None other than Adam Podleish.

by Jaggernaut on May 16, 2008 11:42 AM EDT reply actions