Desperate Jaguars Fans willing to steal for their hydration:

by River City Rage on Jun 16, 2009 10:48 AM EDT in Jacksonville Jaguars News

I was going to talk about Vince Manuwai's return to the field, but the Florida Times Union decided to drop this little bomb into the bottom of the story.

From the department of WTF?

Thief gets away with Gatorade

A thief broke into the Jacksonville Jaguars practice field Saturday and made off a cooler full of Gatorade and a box of nutrition bars, police said.

A security guard at Jacksonville Municipal Stadium spotted the thief fleeing the field and tried to catch him. But with the lightning speed of a running back, the man bolted, dropping the nutrition bars in the process.

Really? How fast can you run with a 5 gallon cooler of Gatorade? I remember lugging those things around and the idea of running and getting away with it seems pretty far fetched. Not to mention the insanity of actually stealing it from the practice field. Under what circumstance is this a good idea?

Tweet Comment 11 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Lightning Speed Of A Running Back.

Well at least we know where Chris Johnson is spending his offseason.

Jacksonville Jaguars. It's what I do.

by JvilleJag2 on Jun 16, 2009 11:12 AM EDT reply actions

I was going to say

Maurice Clarrett or maybe Mikkie Vickki

"HULU: An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy"

by TheTealDeal on Jun 16, 2009 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

Or we could sign him

as our permanent waterboy, since he’s so keen in lugging them 5 gallons around.

"HULU: An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy"

by TheTealDeal on Jun 16, 2009 12:07 PM EDT reply actions

Maybe it was Jennings

They haven’t paid the rookies yet you know :-)

by Pyrofish on Jun 16, 2009 12:23 PM EDT reply actions

Haha

I saw this in the paper when I got home. Really, those coolers that hold the ’rade are 10 gallons; maybe we need some new security guards.

If hip hop is dead, then it happened the day that Dilla died.
-Akrobatik

by Bestjagfan on Jun 16, 2009 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

Now that i think of it

Some powerade guy probably got some random guy on the street to get him some gatorage that athletes use. Or, this is only a conspiracy theory =), GM needs more revenue and has decided to do sports drinks to promote itself, maybe calling it’s drink the Green Monster (GM). GM is looking at what people drink. Who really knows, I perfer Kool-Aid to Gatorade but…

"HULU: An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy"

by TheTealDeal on Jun 16, 2009 3:13 PM EDT reply actions

Great

if we have a bad season then we can just blame it on the dehydration.

by JagSoldier on Jun 16, 2009 7:02 PM EDT reply actions

wtf.

This is stupid and awesome on so many different levels. Full of fail for being tempted to crime by Gatorade and nutrition bars, and full of win for pulling it off.

by Kbot on Jun 16, 2009 7:19 PM EDT reply actions

Yeah

Imagine if the guy had been caught. 5 years for stealing Gatorade…

If hip hop is dead, then it happened the day that Dilla died.
-Akrobatik

by Bestjagfan on Jun 16, 2009 7:42 PM EDT up reply actions

Well, at least he wouldn’t be thirsty when he got caught. Don’t forget the nutrition bars, you know how expensive they’ve gotten lately. I’m waiting to see a pawn shop with a cooler full of Gatorade, and a box of nutrition bars. Honestly, I’m guessing someone was going to a barbecue and forgot to bring a dish, so he swiped some Gatorade and snacks, and called it a day.

by Kbot on Jun 16, 2009 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions