With the 27th pick in the 2010 NFL draft, the Dallas Cowboys select Maurkice Pouncey, Center, University of Florida.

Hi, my name is Jerry Jones. Don’t let Wade Phillips fool you and say HE is the coach of MY team. With all the money I spent on my gargantuan, new age Roman Coliseum, I sure as hell ain’t letting that guy steal my global glorification by allowing him to pick my first rounder. Sure as shootin’, dagnabit!

I had to get one of them big boys to shore up an offensive line that has some players ‘bout ready to collect Social Security. I don’t pick offensive line guys in the first round, but I was just too tempted to get me a Gator that is 6’5" and 308lbs, especially after the Cardinals just passed him up!

Maurkice is an efficient player with a lot of upside. He is a good enough athlete who can play center and guard. He usually takes excellent angles to block defenders on running plays and makes up for lack of pure speed with a good initial burst. Maurkice displays better-than-average stunt/blitz recognition skills and has good, strong hands to push off a bull defender, but must improve overall strength so my pet, Tony Romo, doesn’t get the you-know-what knocked out of him. He also possesses experience in big games and shows superior leadership skills.

Now come on over to my stadium, bask in the praise of my name, buy a 3-ounce beer for $20 and see if my pick works out.

(I couldn’t resist taking some pokes at Jerry Jones. I’ll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress!)