Pitchforks and Torches: Who's the Rat?

After an unnamed player complained to the NFLPA about the intensity of the OTAs and had the final two practices revoked, the question begs as to who tattled. The Lions have received a very similar punishment for a very similar crime and according to the Detroit News there is a possibility that no one tattled:

The NFL randomly monitors practices tapes, which indicates that it is not likely that a Lions player reported possible violations. - DetroitNews.com

So in all likelihood, the Jaguars didn't have a player complaining, but that leaves us no one to chase out of town with pitchforks and torches. No, no, no, it is way more fun to have a scapegoat. Screw rationality, let's weed out the suspects.

Suspect A - Josh Scobee

Motive: A picture speaks a thousand words. Take a look at the picture above and tell me he looks happy to be there. If that face doesn't say, "I'd rather be golfing," then I don't know what does. Plus, the kicker complaining about the intensity of a practice is like the butler killing someone, it just makes sense no matter how cliche.

Alibi: Why complain? It's not like the upped intensity really affects the kickers all that much anyway. Even if he did complain, would the NFLPA really listen to a kicker complaining about practice intensity?

Chances he did it: 10%

Suspect B - Rashean Mathis

Motive: Rashean hasn't exactly been a fan favorite due to his absence from practices. If absences from practices are pissing people off, how about he just shuts down the practices? Then he'll be like everyone else without having to actually swallow his pride and go back to practice.

Alibi: Pfft...Rashean's been inside in air conditioning while everyone else in Jacksonville has been out sweating like crazy in 100+ heat and he's the one complaining? Come on. He sat through the first 12 practices and had only 2 left to miss, why now?

Chances he did it: 20%

Suspect C - Jack Del Rio

Motive: Consider this tweet by Gene Frenette as evidence:

Del Rio tweaks right hamsting running gassers at last OTA got a big ice wrap on it doing his press conference.

What do I make out of this? The OTAs are even kicking JDR's butt. It's not like he can just tone down the intensity that he set on day 1, he had to keep it up and eventually it got too much for even him. Also add in the fact that he had to stand there in the heat and he just had to shut himself down.

Alibi: Considering how often Jack calls out his players for being pansies, this seems doubtful. Last year he called out John Henderson for missing a practice with a minor shoulder injury. Jack probably thought the OTAs weren't hard enough.

Chances he did it: 5%

Suspect D - Maurice Jones-Drew

Motive: The dude had over 300 carries in 2009 and racked up fantasy points like nobody's business. Now he has to sweat it out in June? That just isn't right. Sure he could sit out of the voluntary practices like Rashean, but does he really want to open that can of worms?

Alibi: MJD has way too much pride in what he does to miss a practice let alone make the entire team miss a week of practice. He's the best because he practices like he's the best. Nothing you throw at him will slow him down. 

Chances he did it: 1%

Suspect E - "Chris McGaha" AKA Peyton Manning with a fake moustache

Motive: Ok, here's the scenario. Peyton has seen the Jaguars revamp their defensive line and has secretly spied on their practices (there has to be an explanation as to how he knows so much about opposing defenses). Seeing Alualu, Kampman, Harvey and co. wreaking havoc has him nervous and he needs to throw some wrenches into the plan. So he decides to impersonate a Jaguars player and complain to the NFLPA that the practices are too intense. Chris McGaha is the perfect candidate because no one really knows what he looks like. A little wig and a fake moustache ought to do the trick and voila, practices are cancelled. 

Alibi: It doesn't matter how good a pass rush is, it's not like it actually makes it to Peyton. He throws the ball 0.2 seconds after the snap or hits the ground as soon as possible. Why would he be worried?

Chances he did it: 90% ---> He did it

In all reality, Gene Smith is the one to blame here. If he had just drafted Tim Tebow, the savior would have ensured that the entire roster was completely on board due to his lovable charm. Even if the team was working too hard, the NFL couldn't suspend such a wholesome young man from practicing.