Jaguars Wind Sprints: The Furry Walls Edition

When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall, stroke the furry wall.

If you haven't seen Get Him To The Greek then you are probably trying to figure out what in God's green earth does furry walls have to to with the Jaguars. Without getting into too much detail I'll give you the quick and clean.

Aaron Greenberg (Jonah Hill) has been tasked by his record company boss Sergio Roma (Sean Combs) to bring rock star Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) back to L.A. to perform at the Greek Theater. In the process they happen upon Las Vegas and during a party Aaron is given a "Jeffrey". The "Jeffrey" is nothing more than a joint laced with more drugs than I've ever heard of. Aaron begins to freak out. In an effort to calm him down Aldous tells Aaron to go to a wall covered with fur and stroke it. He is eventually joined by Sergio who is also amped out from the "Jeffrey". As long as the hand is on the wall, everyone is coping.

Later in the movie we see that Aldous has written a song about the event with the famous line:

When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall, stroke the furry wall.

From training camp through week two I feel like someone has slipped me a "Jeffrey".

 

Struggling through a preseason which offered no hope for improvement over the previous year, then a performance against Denver which saw all facets of the team running at high octane, only to crash back down to earth against the Chargers. Add to the mix the face of the Jaguars, MJD, has all put disappeared and our safety net in Luke McCown is out for the year, it is easy to see that this party is a bit out of control.

Unlike last year, when the west coast trips found St. Louis and Houston waiting for us, the chaos ensues with a visit from the Philadelphia Eagles. Unlike last week there will be no shortage of talent for which to defend against. Michael Vick, LaShawn McCoy, DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin.

Where's the wall! Where's the wall!

The good news: the Eagles are 0-3 in Jacksonville (including a Super Bowl loss) and they have an abysmal defense. As Alfie noted we're seeing Josh Scobee's streak going strong along with solid play from Marcedes Lewis, Daryl Smith, Aaron Kampmann and Rashad Jennings.

We seem to be stuck in this cycle where we don't feel good at first, then the "buzz" starts kicking in. Then the cops pull up only to look around, then leave. Then your buddy gets sick and throws up on you. When do we get to relax and just take in feeling without something being a buzz kill? At some point the anxiety comes not from the team itself, but from actually waiting for that next bad thing to happen.

By now you should know not to expect too much considering the team overhauls that still need to be done. I have no idea how to approach the Eagles game regarding confidence in the outcome. What I do know is that the weather will be beautiful, there should not be a blackout and the crowd will once again be raucous. When victory isn't a sure thing to save you, maybe that is your furry wall.

    With a sky blue sky
    This rotten time
    Wouldn't seem so bad to me now
    Oh, I didn't die
    I should be satisfied
    I survived
    That's good enough for now

    Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

     

    Now for the musings of an insane man.

 

  • There must be space vortexes at Qualcomm Stadium because I can't for the life of me believe the Jaguars actually allowed the entire middle of the field to be that open on so many occasions.
  • I posited the idea that the problems of this past Sunday were first coaching then players. I've changed my mind. After reviewing the games and reading some quotes I think this is pretty much all on the players. The defense seemed lost at times and I don't believe that is from not being prepared. What I can't figure out is what routes were being run to cause confusion. Maybe we just chalk it up to "sometimes you're just not there." If you've played a sport you know the feeling.
  • Kudos to Andy Reid for making a decision that focuses more on winning than honoring some unwritten code related to a player not losing his job due to injury. More to the point, and we can't really know the extent of Kolb's concussion, if Reid can sit the heir to Donovan McNabb as long as possible, without impacting the win column, he should take that opportunity.
  • Or maybe he realizes Vick is flat out better.
  • The best part of last week's game was my time spent on Twitter. There is much to be said about using text only as a cathartic release. Sometimes the tone of someone's voice can further fan the flames of fan frustration (say that quickly five times). Reading it, for me, allowed a quick transition from one aggravation to the next. In truth, I enjoyed the catastrophe more because of it.
  • I, as of today, refuse to either shower Garrard with accolades or overly criticize his failures. He doesn't "suck" but it doesn't appear he is suddenly going to become above average. If you don't have a quarterback who can come from behind you aren't going to be very competitive. He will not be starting next year so let's just get through the season and hope he and other players step up at the right time.
  • When Jaxson de Ville mocked Tim Tebow the estrogen filled followers of Tim wept and hurled retorts of "classless" at anyone who laughed and approved of the big cats actions. It prompted the question of whether anything was sacred and off limits to our controversial mascot's attack. Well we have an answer. From the mouth of the feline himself (per an interview on 1010XL), there will be no references to Vick and his dog "troubles". Hopefully no one thinks this is hypocritical.
  • You know what is more annoying that "slander journalism"? The internet "bad ass" journalist. I was doing my weekly reading of other NFL blogs and found this bit from BigBlueShoe over at StampedeBlue. Basically he is responding the Brandon Jacobs throwing his helmet into the stands. It deserves a response but spare me the need to bow up the Colts team and fan base with comments like "Jacobs is lucky he plays for such a forgiving coach.Were he playing for the Colts, he'd have been sent to the locker room only to be cut the next day." and "Had his helmet hit a kid, and injured that kid, Jacobs would have needed an armed escort to get out of Lucas Oil." I can't see Peyton Manning being let go for such an act and I've seen baseball bats hit kids at MLB games without the need for armed guards protecting the player who threw it. BBS is the worst team apologist I have ever read in my life.
  • Zoltan Paksa's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column he makes a point which I could not support more. Give Marcedes Lewis a new contract and keep him here for another 4 years minimum. Listening to this guy do interviews on the radio shows lends me to believe his locker room presence is priceless. Talent without leadership is useless.
  • Great comment by Merril Hoge regarding Vince Young. Hoge has been a consistent critic of the false 2007 NFL OROY and his take on why the Steelers were able to negate him is very keen. (H\T to Paul Kuharsky)

"They (Steelers defense) really made Vince Young try to beat them at his weakness. They didn’t let him get outside the pocket. They might have tried to make him be pure pocket passer. And what I think the Titans have done such a great job at with him is they’ve used Chris Johnson’s dynamic ability to run along with Vince Young’s ability to run and have been able to throw the football off of that. Well once that is gone, they are very limited as an offense. And then they get exposed. And the teams that can do that have a chance to beat them. If you don’t, then the Titans are going to be fairly successful on offense."

  • I got into a war of words with ESPN's Chris Steuber over Mark Sanchez. Chris felt Mark's performance against the Patriots should silence all the "haters" and then tried to paint Sanchez as the Jets best player in the preseason. I understand liking a player but please be realistic. This is the same guy that totally imploded at Buffalo and disappeared in the second half of the AFCCG against the Colts. What about his opening game against the Ravens? This Jets love is choking me.
  • Same goes for Alex Smith.
  • The Eagles are reportedly asking for two first round picks for Kevin Kolb. Now Jaguar fans are debating whether to make a play for him. I can't help but wonder why. If Vick is replacing you because Vick is playing so well, what must your coaches feel about your ability. This is a sucker bet. What would Belichick do?
  • I respect David's aggressiveness but attacking requires quick and decisive throws to spots rather than waiting for your receiver to break and get open. He has got to trust himself and those around him.

    QB David Garrard says he thinks the Jags can attack Philadelphia's secondary: "We have myriad things to present to them to get them out of their scheme," he said. "We’ll attack their secondary as much as possible, we feel like we can do that."

  • Am I crazy to think Deji Karim may be the piece that ignites the team?
  • Misused word of the week: inconsistent. Yes Garrard was credited with four interceptions but only one was totally his fault. One was a solid play on a slightly underthrown ball, one was tipped at the line and one was the result of getting hit. How does that make him inconsistent?
  • The more important question: what were the receivers doing while throws 2 and 4 were fluttering in the air?
  • Check out Paul Kuharsky's Stock Watch. He sees David Jones as a rising commodity, further validating the Reggie Nelson over Brady Quinn pick was the right choice. Well, at least indirectly now.
  • For those who care, I'm still alive in my "pick the winner" league. I've taken the Jaguars (week 1) and the Packers (week 2). This week I have New England and feel pretty good I'll be moving on.
  • Favre's done...right?
  • On multiple catches I thought Mike Sims-Walker looked real lazy in holding that ball. This isn't something new as I remember last year seeing the same thing. The guy makes some great catches but I'd like to see some ball security.
  • 2-0 Steelers at the 2-0 Buccaneers...looks like it may be blacked out. What do you think the fan ratio will be?

Enjoy the Furry Walls video.

 

- Brian Fullford

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