Suck for Luck Sweepstakes

For me, it's down to the Colts and the Dolphins, two teams who just can't seem to win no matter what, and who lose in horrible fashion. Yesterday, the Dolphins couldn't hold off Tim Tebow in his first ever start for a team that is absolutely awful. And the Colts got whipped by the Saints for the biggest losing margin in the history of their franchise.

So who's gonna get Lucky? Simply put, whoever loses the most games. Here's why I think it's Miami.

If we take a look at their schedule, we see these remaining opponents. To me, there is not one winnable game left on the schedule. Sure, they might scrape something out over the Chiefs or catch a break on a late season Bill collapse or a Romo collapse when they play the 'Boys, but those would be huge upsets and nothing to do with them. Realistically, hope might only come if Sparano is fired mid-season (likely) and the interim starts turning it around Jason Garett style. Still... what can you do with such a terrible offense and porous secondary? If you can't get points and you can't prevent passing yards, you're doomed.

Now the Colts schedule! No, not them! They CAN'T have Luck, it's not fair! Well, I think they still have some wins in them so we should be safe. That home game against Carolina looks winnable, but then you have to remember that Cam Newton will be throwing against a patch-work secondary. If Curtis Painter continues to improve, it could be a nice shoot-out in a dome against two crappy defenses. That's the closest thing to a win that I think they get.

Then the J-ville games. Hmmm.... I'd like to say we'll win both of those but with our banged up O-line and Mathis and Freeney being as sack-hungry as ever? I think the Colts could win one of those. Other than that? NE, ATL, HOU, BAL, TEN twice... no way do they win any of those games. The Colts finish 2-14, the Dolphins finish 1-15 and "win" Andrew Luck in my prediction. Jags will finish 3-13 and get Justin Blackmon or somebody awesome, then finish 12-4 next year, win the Superbowl, finally become Green Bay of the South, bring about world peace, etc.