Bullwinkle's Poetry Corner: The Ravens

Once upon a Monday dreary, of my Jaguars I was leery,
Of their many failures offensively to score.
As the game neared, I sat watching, fearful of a future botching,
A future offensive botching, ruining our chance to score.
Baltimore had Lewis, Suggs, and Reed.  It was said they would succeed.
They would leave our quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, bruised and sore.

Ah, distinctly I recall now, the Ravens struggling with the ball. Wow!
Look!  Our defense stopped the Ravens cold!  With them, they mopped the floor!
In three downs, we had them punting.  Chick and Mincey they were hunting,
for the Ravens. They were shoving, stopping them once more.
For our Jaguars were possessed men, men denied five wins before.
Denied five, but not one more!

Josh, our kicker, calm and deadly, kicking up a gorgeous medly,
Of field goals a-plenty.  Fifty-yarders, three of four!
As the game went on, he kicked them, sailing, as if God had picked them.  
Sailing through the uprights, each time for us three points he’d score.
Soaring straight, right down the middle, he played the uprights like a fiddle,
One not played this masterfully before!

The Ravens’ offense looked like clowns, they could not gain any first downs,
Until halfway through the third quarter!  Yet still they needed more!
MJD, he took a licking, but like our D, he’d come up kicking,
Though on the ground, he’d put the ball at least three times before.
Baltimore then scored a touchdown, causing Jaguars fans to frown,
Thinking of games lost before.

As the clock began to dwindle, the Ravens’ “O” started to kindle,
And it looked as if they were almost about ready to score.
Flacco thought his man was open, but Coleman was rope-a-dopin’
That poor schmuck to throw to Dickson, as he had tried before.
Intercepting Joe, we stopped them.  And with that pick we topped them!
Quoth the Ravens, “Please, no more!”

Less than halfway through the season, our Jags have given us a reason,
To hope this will not end in a disaster like before.
And now, we’re on to Texas.  Where Schaub will try to hex us.
And of our surging defense we Jags fans will now implore:
Don’t get cute, and don’t get cocky, like Stallone in the third Rocky,
Help our offense out, and score!

FanPosts do not necessarily reflect the views of the authors of Big Cat Country or SB Nation.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Big Cat Country

You must be a member of Big Cat Country to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Big Cat Country. You should read them.

Join Big Cat Country

You must be a member of Big Cat Country to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Big Cat Country. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.