As the team enters the locker room after another disappointing loss head coach Jack Del Rio calls for the team to circle up and listen to him...
JDR: Well men we all know that we are better then that
MJD: No, we are not..
JDR: Umm, like I was saying we have to keep fighting and clawing and we need to win some games and get to the tourament
MJD: What?!?! The tournament?!?!!? Coach, we are mathematically eliminated, the year is over......
Karim: Yes the season is over, now is when we unleash the Dejibomb
*Rest of team boo's*
JDR: Well I don't believe in anything I can't spell and I can't spell mathemeaticly, so we still got it
MJD: *Calls agent* "Get me out of here"
*Wayne Weaver walks in looking somber and extremely aged*
JDR: Hey! There he is, lets give Mr. Weaver a round of applause and the game ball
No one claps and is dumbfounded that a game ball is given out in a loss
Posluszny: *whispering to Alualu* "Jack is trying to look good for Wayne, he doesn't want to lose his job"
WW: Jack please, do not try to impress me
JDR: Look Wayne, I'm juggling Mike Thomas!!!!!
WW: Someone call Cowher
*Out of nowhere the roof opens and a mysterious figure gently glides into the room*
Kampman: IT'S MEGAN FOX
Youboty: IT'S ANGELINA JOLIE
Gabbert: IT'S Justin Bieber!!!
*Whole team looks and shakes their heads*
Mysterious Figure: I am nor Fox, nor Jolie, nor Bieber...I am TEBOW *glitter falls from celing*
JDR: What? Tim didn't you just play a game.....In San Diego?!?! Why the F*** are you here....And why are you talking like that?
Sir Tebow: Well my peasant, I am Tebow, son of God and I am 5-1 so I can do whatever I want
Gabbert: Come on now Tim, you are horrible and you rely on your defense to win
Tebow: Wins don't lie pretty boy
*Gabbert goes to attack him but trips on his hair and is somehow sacked by Connor Barwin again"
Tebow: Well peace out boy scouts I'm going to go party with some pretty ladies
*Tebow disappears in smoke and gets a round of applause from a few players*
JDR: Well that was odd.....Just to let you know I don't care about anyone outside the Jags....I love this team and wouldn't want anyone else
Gabbert: So you would rather have me than Aaron Rodgers?
JDR: Yes.....Keep the faith baby
Gabbert: You are a psycho
JDR: Nope, I know that I trust my team and that they trust me....All of my current and former players would back me up
*Limping in with an ax in his foot former punter Chris Hansen enters*
Hansen: No JDR, not all of your former players like you......
WW: aaaaaaaaannnddd not all of your owners like you
JDR: Fuck the police, fight the power, I'm the sheriff in this town, I don't need no owner
*JDR proceeds to "dougie" as players start to cry/leave as they realize their fate has been sealed with this man as their coach*
WW: Jack, you're fired.......Ummmmmmmmm someone call Rhett Chrystal, he will be our next head coach, he will motivate this team
*BCC poster and draft expert Rhett Chrystal crawls out from the locker of Blaine Gabbert and starts dancing*
Rhett: HAHA I'm the coach, OK were trading MJD and Gabbert for Aaron Rodgers, then we sign T.O. and go to the promised land
Tebow: Did someone say promised land?
WW: What Rhett why were you already in the locker room?
Rhett: Oh, I'm always here.....I got the Jags 411
*A drunk Joe Fisher enters partially nude with only a grass skirt on*
Joe: I'M BECOMING A SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS FAN
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