A Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke, 1963 (via BlackAsWhite1)
Usually I bring you a hard hitting award show but sometimes there are more important messages that need to be relayed. This is one of those times, nephews. Grab a cigarette, a swisher sweet spot, or a latte. Uncle Chaps cant take this anymore.
Sometimes in life, we have to overcome trials and tribulations. We know that there has been women persecuted in Afghanistan for witchcraft. Often times those women are forced to marry their rapist.
Their is children all over the third world that are starving.
We have Andrew Bynum's ridiculous haircuts.
Often times the darkest of persecutions are swept under the rug. No more. Not after today. FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY WE ARE FREE AT LAST.
It's time to talk about Tim Crow Laws.
"What's a Tim Crow Law, Uncle Chaps?" Well nephew, Tim Crow Laws are dangerous. They set a precedent that white people cannot be mobile quarterbacks in the NFL. "But Uncle Chaps, wasnt Jake Locker drafted at number 8 overall because he is an athletic quarterback with the ability to run and has size?" No. Jake Locker was drafted because his great great grandfather was from Papua New Guinea.
"What about Steve Young, unc? Wasnt he white and mobile?" Sure, nephew. You can bring up Zim Jorn or whatever too. But the fact of the matter is that no white mobile quarterback has ever been given a real shot. Steve Young, while a Hall of Famer, was always on a very short leash. At any moment, Elvis Grbac was ready to take his place IN THE POCKET.
Along with the new collective bargaining agreement that was signed to end the recent lockout, NFL Owners with their well documented hatred of white quarterbacks adopted legislation known as the Tim Crow Laws. These laws will not allow white quarterbacks who: A. Throw with their left arm with the motion beginning down around their testicles B. Star in jockey commercials while remaining a virgin C. Say excited 3400 or more times in one interview or D. run shirtless in the rain to become NFL quarterbacks, despite being drafted in the 1st round.
This will not stand. We cannot let it stand. We must get behind the boys at 1010xl and fight the power. FREE TEBOW from chains of white quarterbacking! FREE TEBOW from the expectations of Quarterback Ratings! FREE TEBOW from the third string! God bless you and God bless the United States of America and Tebow.