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Jaguars 2012 (humor) Draft


#7: HB- Larry Skipper. McDonalds University. Known for quick elusive side step skips enroute to counter, er- endzone.

#6: DE- Dennis Fakeum. Kentucky School of Knitting. Throws and waves hands in air totally distracting offenses as it appears he is weaving something.

#5: WR- Tommy Bypolor. Everglades Erratic University. Keeps the defense off their toes with route running and QB on his toes.

#4: LB- Lefty Wright. Connecticut School of Confusion. Very good at right or left LB but when in the middle gets disoriented.

#3: CB- APONIVI (where the wind blows)) Catori (spirit) Hopi Indian. Tribal Talented Group. Was born with his feet backwards. Amazing speed and vision on the ball. No need to rotate hips. Just go where the wind blows with the ball.

#2: WR- Fontain Imurs. Harris Accademy of Hairdressing. Very fluid and fancy running motion. Can not be out run by mean nasties chasing him. Tends to stop on the goal line so he can be caught from behind. TOUCHDOWN !

#1: NT- Sally Sasquatch. Canadian Tribal Bush Group. First of all Sally has never been layed and is pissed. Secondly, she has been taught that the football is her key to a husband. At a height of around 10' and around 700lbs the Jags will go to a 1-10 defense. Arm span is incredible and she bench presses mid-size vehicles up to and including SUV's.

Go Jags !

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