FanPost

33 Things You Should Know About Greg Jones

1. Greg Jones won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

2. Greg Jones and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

3. Greg Jones built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot,
Jones met all three bullets with his dreads, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

4. The Devil dresses as Greg Jones for Halloween

5. Greg Jones recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We now know this beverage as Red Bull.

6. Greg Jones doesn't mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.

7. Greg Jones does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

8. Greg Jones once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

9. Greg Jones can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

10. They once made a Greg Jones toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

11. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Greg Jones allows to live.

12. If you spell Greg Jones in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

13. It takes Greg Jones 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

14. If at first you don't succeed, you are not Greg Jones.

15. Greg Jones played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

16. When Greg Jones does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up -- he's pushing the Earth down. Observe ...

17. Greg Jones can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

18. Greg Jones is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

19. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Greg Jones, each testicle is larger than the other one.

20. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Greg Jones' first visit to Tokyo.

21. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Greg Jones.

22. Greg Jones once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

23. Greg Jones once fell in a pool of lava. He nearly drowned

24. Greg Jones can drown a fish.

25. If you spell Greg Jones wrong on Google, it doesn't ask what you meant. It simply comes back as RUN.

26. There is no Ctrl button on Greg Jones' keyboard. Greg Jones is always in control

27. Greg Jones got stabbed by a knife. After 2 weeks of pain the knife died.

28. Greg Jones puts the laughter in manslaughter.

29. Greg Jones can strangle someone with a cordless phone.

30. Greg Jones frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

31. Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Greg Jones.

32. When Greg Jones was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never spank Greg Jones!

33. Greg Jones's Xbox 360 once got the Red Ring of death. Greg Jones then painted the lights green and it worked again.

Sorry i was bored :(

FanPosts do not necessarily reflect the views of the authors of Big Cat Country or SB Nation.

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