FanPost

33 Things You Should Know About Greg Jones

1. Greg Jones won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

2. Greg Jones and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

3. Greg Jones built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot,
Jones met all three bullets with his dreads, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

4. The Devil dresses as Greg Jones for Halloween

5. Greg Jones recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We now know this beverage as Red Bull.

6. Greg Jones doesn't mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.

7. Greg Jones does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

8. Greg Jones once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

9. Greg Jones can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

10. They once made a Greg Jones toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

11. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Greg Jones allows to live.

12. If you spell Greg Jones in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

13. It takes Greg Jones 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

14. If at first you don't succeed, you are not Greg Jones.

15. Greg Jones played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

16. When Greg Jones does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up -- he's pushing the Earth down. Observe ...

17. Greg Jones can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

18. Greg Jones is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

19. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Greg Jones, each testicle is larger than the other one.

20. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Greg Jones' first visit to Tokyo.

21. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Greg Jones.

22. Greg Jones once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

23. Greg Jones once fell in a pool of lava. He nearly drowned

24. Greg Jones can drown a fish.

25. If you spell Greg Jones wrong on Google, it doesn't ask what you meant. It simply comes back as RUN.

26. There is no Ctrl button on Greg Jones' keyboard. Greg Jones is always in control

27. Greg Jones got stabbed by a knife. After 2 weeks of pain the knife died.

28. Greg Jones puts the laughter in manslaughter.

29. Greg Jones can strangle someone with a cordless phone.

30. Greg Jones frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

31. Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Greg Jones.

32. When Greg Jones was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never spank Greg Jones!

33. Greg Jones's Xbox 360 once got the Red Ring of death. Greg Jones then painted the lights green and it worked again.

Sorry i was bored :(

FanPosts do not necessarily reflect the views of the authors of Big Cat Country or SB Nation.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Big Cat Country

You must be a member of Big Cat Country to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Big Cat Country. You should read them.

Join Big Cat Country

You must be a member of Big Cat Country to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Big Cat Country. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker