We're fans of a team you've never even heard of! If our team was in Austin, games would be sold out, vintage Jags clothing would be hundreds of dollars, and the stadium would have a micro-brewery and organic hamburger joint.

We're not moving to LA. Period. Well.. maybe. If only for the food trucks.

We're not trading for Tebow. Anyone who gets ESPN mentions or Superbowl commercials or Pitchfork album reviews is "just bad and overrated".

The integration of European football (it's NOT soccer! *rolls eyes behind large, non-prescription glasses*) chants would give us serious hipster cred. After all...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/03/03/80-the-idea-of-soccer/

And...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/22/72-study-abroad/

And also...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/23/19-travelling/

After viewing this extensive original research, you'll agree that European traditions, ideas, and fads are "trendy" "hip" and now Jaguarian (What's that? American arts and culture as we know it grew out of the WWII exodus from European cultural centers like Vienna and Paris so this is a stupid thing to say? Well... you're stupid so shut up. *rolls a spliffy* *moves to Williamsburg*).

Jacksonville is the new Portland, OR. We are, after all, very nostalgic for the '90's.