Why not Zoidberg?

The Jacksonville Jaguars only have 12 fans right now, because all of the tarps and the time taken with simultaneously trying to move the franchise to both Los Angeles and London. The Jaguars need to inject some energy into their fan base of 12 fans, so why not have that injection administered by Dr. John A. Zoidberg?

I don't know if the current team doctor is any good, but ZOIDBERG!

Despite the fact that Dr. Zoidberg's knowledge of human anatomy and physiology is atrocious, he's a medically trained doctor with an expertise in internal medicine. He knows how to inject energy.

"It's been years since medical school, so remind me," Dr. Zoidberg said through his agent, Scruffy, when asked about injecting energy into the Jaguars 12 fans. "Disemboweling in your species, fatal or non-fatal?"

Not only can Dr. Zoidberg administer the injection, but you don't even have to pay him in real dollars! You can pay him in anchovies, which in our time are not yet extinct. He's also an honorary member of the Harlam Globetrotters, so just think of what he could do with that connection!

Plus, Dr. Zoidberg is a winner. He is from the future and knows who will win football games and how. He can use this future knowledge to help propel the Jaguars into a winning franchise and once and for all remove the tarps!

Shad Khan! Hear me now! Sign Dr. Zoidberg! The Jaguars fans deserve a winner from the future! He might be awful at practicing medicine, but that is completely irrelevant. SIGN HIM. NOW. OR I SHALL CONTINUE TO WHINE THAT YOU HAVE NOT SIGNED HIM.

Keep reading:

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Jordan Rodgers motivated by going undrafted

Denard Robinson ready for "Slash" type role

Jonathan Cyprien could be an impact rookie

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