Steps to Avoiding Being a Jagwhyer

Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Some of you are Jagwhyers. You just flat out are. No ifs ands or buts about it. You hate everything. You hate Shad, the helmets, Gus, Dave, Alfie, me, Adam, Dat Ass, Blaine, Chad, Lewis, Denard, and the world. Here's some advice, dont do that. I'm going to need some positivity in your little teal veins. Here's how, you simpleton.

1. Cheer. Yell. Holler. I dont care if you are alone, with a crowd, at a child's birthday party. Enjoy the season. You wont get many over the course of your life. Your team might suck. That's ok. The fans dont. We are outchea ready, willing, and able to make a bad season enjoyable. Jaguars Twitter is kind of like having terrible and gut wrenching herpes. Herpes is awful but when you are with a group of people that have herpes too, you are free to laugh, drink beer, and celebrate. "HERPES, LOL. YOU SO CRAZY!"

2. DO NOT FOCUS ON WHO WE COULD HAVE DRAFTED. This will kill you. It will literally eat your privates off your body. You cant focus on the past. Focus on dat ass and the future.

3. Hope that Blaine does ok. Expect for him to be bad. If he is a little better than bad, you win. If he is bad, you were right.

4. Dont look directly at the linebackers.

5. Shut other Jagwhyers down. Dont allow people to speak ill of our team. There is a difference in being critical and cynical. Find that line. Dont let people perpetuate stereotypes that are just that. Wipe your ass with a tarp joke. Blow your nose with attendance humor. BOOO these people.

6. Let the haters roll right off that bubble butt. Only 32 cities in the greatest country in the world have an NFL team. Duval has one. Chill, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we will dine at Krystal's, get diarrhea and still be better than every other fan base.

Flawda Water- Duval (via flawdawater)


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