This one is your safe bet... the vanilla of the Neapolitan ice cream, if you will. Always tasty. You've got Gus, in a beautiful collared shirt, and he's smiling. The sparks won't fly, but things will get warm.
If the first one was vanilla, this one is triple chocolate drizzled with Cialis. Unless you want to inject your significant other with the sexual appetite of rhinoceros, stay away from this card.
This card is the perfect combination of racy and lacy. It'll communicate your true feelings, but not in an overbearing way.
This card is not -- and I repeat, not -- for the faint of heart. Andre Branch is exuding so much sex in this photo, I think it's the most amorous thing I've ever witnessed this side of Boyz II Men's End of the Road.
Need help roping in that girl who never seems to notice you? Knock her down a few pegs. Not only does she remind you of Blaine Gabbert, but she's *this* close to being blocked on Twitter.
Like an Ace Sanders pass to Jordan Todman, this is a Hail Mary that'll score you some points.
Andre "Windmill" Branch is getting some serious looks in this year's Valentine's Day card collection. And for good reason.
A Cecil Shorts-themed card: A perfectly subtle way to let your loved one know that you've got 8-4-them.
If you end up all alone for Valentine's Day, just print this card, tape it to your ceiling, and light a scented candle.
Hand your significant other this and follow it up with another piece of Marcedes wisdom: "Don't sweat the petty stuff. Pet the sweaty stuff." OOOO KILL 'EM.
Don't give someone a Valentine's Day card containing two Gus Bradleys unless you want to get them pregnant.