"You know the detective's curse? The solution was right under my nose but I was paying attention to the wrong clues"
It doesn't take a shoehorned topical reference to understand the Jaguars have an issue at quarterback. Henne this, Bridgewater that, there's a lot noise about some pretty mediocre guys. Well call me Marty Hart, because I've just solved the "mystery" of who the rightful QB should be. What if I told you we could sign an all-pro quarterback with championship experience, who just happens to be a hometown hero? Sounds too good to be true? Better start listening. That man is Aaron "The Gunslinger" Garcia. The best QB in the city of Jacksonville is waiting for his time to shine. The leader of the Jacksonville Sharks has the experience, the skills, and all of the measurables to succeed.
There is huge precedent for successful quarterbacks coming from the arena league. Who could forget famed Rams quarterback Kurt Warner, or legendary Cardinals signal caller Kurt Warner. Well it turns out Garcia is actually a year older than Warner, which gives him more veteran know-how and leadership. He would be the oldest player in the NFL, which would basically give us another coach on the field. Take the mind of Peyton Manning and cross it with the hand cannon of a Colin Kaepernick to get an idea of what to expect.
I'd like to present some statistics as well. Garcia has thrown for 56,878 yards in the AFL. Now, I know what you're about to say: "Hey now, those are Arena yards". Well, you're exactly right. The arena field is only 50 yards long, which means we need to adjust his statistics to compensate for that. Prorated, Garcia has 113,756 passing yards. Good luck finding a quarterback from this class with those numbers. I haven't even gotten to his 1,237 career touchdown passes yet. Another underrated advantage coming from the AFL will be an NFL offensive line. In the Arena league, Garcia only had three linemen to protect him. Give him 5 linemen, and Shad might have to build another scoreboard to show all those points he'll put up.
For an idea of his physical gifts, look at this picture of Garcia's hands. He's almost enveloping the ball with those freakish paws. He has "emasculate me in a business meeting handshake" size hands. The kind that could steal your wife, or husband (it's 2014 you bigot), in a second. Another positive is the size of his ankles. The old scouting mantra of "if his ankles aint the size of grapefruits, he can't lace up them boots" applies here. No need to worry about Teddy Bridgewater's baby legs with Garcia. Also, for the past week I've been seeing everyone go crazy over this Johnny Manziel pro-day. Well guess what guys; Garcia's had impressive pro-days for the last 18 years.
All I'm asking is to give the old gunslinger one last chance. I've seen some reports that say he finally retired from the AFL. I wouldn't worry about that, we all know he couldn't turn down an NFL offer. He's proven to be a winner at every level; now he just needs an opportunity to succeed at the highest one.