This post is my final one as a full-time contributor to Big Cat Country.
Over the last two weeks, I have written that sentence out a hundred times in my head. But it doesn't feel any more natural doing it now.
I don't talk about myself much in my posts, but to explain my exit I need to explain what brought me to Big Cat Country to begin with.
I started writing for Big Cat Country over three years ago, when I was still in high school. I had just recently quit playing football, which was the focus of my life, so that I could focus on school. (I had zero future in football. Know your lane, people.)
For the first time in a long time, my identity could no longer revolve around being a football player. I still loved football, but I had no way to stay connected to it without it being the complete center of my life. That was until I started writing.
Writing about football let me stay connected to it while still not having my entire life revolve around it. Football was a part of me, but it wasn't who I was completely. I never wanted it to be, either. This was the internal struggle of this period of my life and with writing, I had finally found a solution.
I loved writing about football from the beginning. but I wasn't very good at it. Frankly, I was terrible, as my early posts on Big Cat Country indicate. (I once thought Josh Evans could be the answer at free safety.)
I started a Twitter account under a pseudonym name because I wanted my writing to be a hobby that I kept between myself and any other readers. At that time I didn't know what I was doing, but I wanted to make sure that if I ever wanted to opt out of it, then I could at any moment without any change in my life.
Under this pseudonym, I started writing for some clickbait site that I don't even remember the name of. I wish I did, because then I could go back and see all of the awful takes I had about the 2013 NFL Draft.
Somehow, Alfie Crow found me on Twitter promoting my writing about the Jaguars and he offered me a role at Big Cat Country. Alfie must have been desperate for writers because, like I keep reminding you, I was not very good.
But I accepted, because of the reputation of Big Cat Country and SB Nation, and the rest is history.
I kept writing. I became close colleagues with Alfie, Ryan Day, Cole Hartley, and Zach Goodall.
I got more of a following on Twitter. I had created a #brand and a reputation for myself. Somehow hanxing it was born. And I kept writing.
I let the Jaguars get my hopes up and I let them crush them. I threw tantrums on twitter. I got blocked by Jeremy Mincey and Andre Branch on Twitter.
And I kept writing.
I developed a friendship with Mike Kaye who, along with Alfie and Ryan, has served as somebody who I can turn to whenever I have any questions about writing, researching, or just want to talk about football. Or when I need an ego boost, which they have always unknowingly helped serve me.
I have had back-and-forths with Pete Prisco. From him calling Eddie Lacy #thick, to him calling me an idiot for something that Ryan tweeted him. And I kept writing.
man what pic.twitter.com/VzVdb2sqd6
— TC Hanx (@HankJoness) June 1, 2016
I met people from Twitter. I grew closer with people from outside of jaguars Twitter, like Sigmund Bloom and Sully Sparks, whose Twitter handle I will not include because chances are he has given you a reason to hate him.
I wrote great posts about Joey Bosa and Jalen Ramsey. I saw Jalen Ramsey, my favorite player from my favorite college team, become a Jaguars player.
And I wrote awful posts. I advocated for Johnny Manziel and said that Blake Bortles would be a good fit with Jedd Fisch. Hanxed it.
But I also helped Blake Bortles create his greatest tweet of all time so it evens out.
@HankJoness @PFF pic.twitter.com/WSIVUJhfxc
— Blake Bortles (@BBortles5) December 15, 2015
And, as always, I kept writing.
I wrote hundreds of posts, reached out to thousands of readers, made countless friends, and formed countless memories... all because of Big Cat Country, whom I owe everything to.
I am leaving Big Cat Country because of a new job opportunity that will make it difficult for me to stay on as a full time contributor. It is not a divorce by any means.
I won't get into the details about the job, but it is a huge opportunity for me and as hard as it is for me to leave Big Cat Country, it is something I feel like I should do.
I am still staying connected with the Big Cat Country community. Alfie let me know that it is an open door for whenever I want to write, and we all know I will take him up on that at some point. I am also sticking with the Big Cat Country podcast that has just begun and is something I am very excited about. And of course, I will always be on Twitter. I love Twitteron game days. Unlike the Titans, Colts, and Texans, I do my best work on Sundays.
And Big Cat Country will keep going on without me, because Big Cat Country is so much bigger than I. Alfie, Cole, Ryan, Zach, and (of course) Wiggle have always done a terrific job and will continue to do so.
So this isn't goodbye, Big Cat Country. I will still hang around. But this is see you later.
Thank you for reading everything I have wrote over the last several years. I can never express to you how much of an impact Big Cat Country and its readers have impacted my life and my future.
Also, the Jaguars are winning the AFC South in 2016. That will not be hanxed.