Jerry Rice: The greatest to ever play the game. Tim Tebow has great hands. Dude is flat out electric in the open field. I had the chance to interview Deion Sanderson the other day. He told me that Tim is the best WR prospect that he has ever seen play quarterback poorly. Incredible stuff.
Emmitt Smith: Someone remind me where Emmitt went to school? Someone remind me what state Emmitt played high school ball? Enough said there, right? No need to insult your intelligence.
Jason Taylor: Long. Handsome. Well-spoken. Good dresser. Sex appeal. Possible romantic involvement with Lindsay Vonn.
Warren Sapp: Four words; Hall of Fame.
Lawrence Taylor: One of the most dominate to play his position. Tebow has recently been seen working on defensive techniques in order to be able to fit the LEO scheme. Im excited about that.
Micheal Irvan: sex.
Kurt Warner: Christian. Superbowl Winning QB. Led his team to a playoff victory (much like our boy). Bags groceries.
Hines Ward: Former SEC quarterback turned into an all pro-WR.
Wait. Mother of God.
What do all those players have in common (despite the fact that they were actually given a chance)?
THEY WERE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS! Can you imagine Tim Tebow out there just dripping sweat like rain? Out there tangoing like you see in the streets of Mexico City? Spinning. Dipping. Dripping. Twirling. Whirling. It would be like a dream within a dream within a dream within a wet dream. People would be fainting. Text messages would be buzzing for days.
Imagine if you could vote, I mean really vote, for Tim Tebow on Facebook via the Dancing with the Stars fanpage. Can you even contain your excitement? Family entertainment.
"Gather around, Children. Mom, get the popcorn ready. Three bags this time, honey." "THREE BAGS" the kids exclaim while grabbing their pillow pets. "You heard your father, kids" jokingly laughs the mother as she slips into her robe.
The anticipation builds as we wait for Tim's preformance. Per usual, Tim goes last. Governor Christie, while enjoyable, just doesn't put the asses in the seats like Tim. He had an embarrassing little tumble in the middle of the Waltz. That will probably send him home this week.
THERE HE IS! THERE'S TIM!
/faints /cant finish article