clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Happy Valentine's Day!

New, comments

Valentine's Day is here and if you're like me, you forgot to get a card. Well, we've got all the valentines you could ever want. Just print on some card stock, hand it to your significant other, AND STRAP YOURSELF IN.

Donald Miralle

UPDATED: In addition to @med11n, @CountCaleb has added a few of his Valentine's Day cards as well:

1_medium

This one is your safe bet... the vanilla of the Neapolitan ice cream, if you will. Always tasty. You've got Gus, in a beautiful collared shirt, and he's smiling. The sparks won't fly, but things will get warm.

2_medium

If the first one was vanilla, this one is triple chocolate drizzled with Cialis. Unless you want to inject your significant other with the sexual appetite of rhinoceros, stay away from this card.

3_medium

This card is the perfect combination of racy and lacy. It'll communicate your true feelings, but not in an overbearing way.

4_medium

This card is not -- and I repeat, not -- for the faint of heart. Andre Branch is exuding so much sex in this photo, I think it's the most amorous thing I've ever witnessed this side of Boyz II Men's End of the Road.

5_medium

Need help roping in that girl who never seems to notice you? Knock her down a few pegs. Not only does she remind you of Blaine Gabbert, but she's *this* close to being blocked on Twitter.

6_medium

Like an Ace Sanders pass to Jordan Todman, this is a Hail Mary that'll score you some points.

6mzxeop_medium

Andre "Windmill" Branch is getting some serious looks in this year's Valentine's Day card collection. And for good reason.

2hptj9a_medium

A Cecil Shorts-themed card: A perfectly subtle way to let your loved one know that you've got 8-4-them.

050issz_medium

If you end up all alone for Valentine's Day, just print this card, tape it to your ceiling, and light a scented candle.

Mzisifb_medium

Hand your significant other this and follow it up with another piece of Marcedes wisdom: "Don't sweat the petty stuff. Pet the sweaty stuff." OOOO KILL 'EM.

Uulg4n3_medium

Don't give someone a Valentine's Day card containing two Gus Bradleys unless you want to get them pregnant.