NFL Mock Draft 2014: Oh my God what is happening

I stopped caring about mock drafts a few seasons ago, because instead of being fun they became a thing where people just tried to guess as many right as possible so they could parade it around as if it meant something.

Anyway, here's a mock draft I did. I might do more, I might not. It's probably stupid, too.

1. Houston Texans: Blake Bortles, QB, Central Florida -- Even though Jadeveon Clowney blew up his Pro Day like everyone expected him to, the Texans still pull the trigger on a signal caller here and I still firmly believe the guy they pick is Blake Bortles.

2. St. Louis Rams: Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn -- The Rams have a starting left tackle in Jake Long already, but Robinson is a bit more "raw" than some of the other offensive tackles in the draft. He can cut his teeth playing on the right side for a season or two.

3. Atlanta Falcons (via Jacksonville Jaguars): Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina -- Jaguars general manager Dave Caldwell and Thomas Dimitroff re-kindle their friendship with a trade. The Jaguars pick up the No. 37 overall pick, the No. 107 overall pick and their 2015 first-round pick for the rights to pick the best player in the draft and fill their biggest need.

4. Cleveland Browns: Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M -- While the Browns could pick a quarterback here, they know some of them are going to slide so they instead pick up their top rated receiver, which is not Sammy Watkins, to pair with Josh Gordon and whoever is starting under center.

5. Oakland Raiders: Jake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M -- While the Oakland Raiders spent a bit on Austin Howard in free agency, they're still in dire need of a left tackle and Matthews can start Day 1 at the position to block Matt Schaub's blind side. I think Oakland waits to pick a quarterback.

6. Jacksonville Jaguars (via Atlanta Falcons): Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson -- The Jaguars slide down a few picks and still land the player they want in Watkins. They're in desperate need of an offensive playmaker and the Jaguars can use Watkins in a similar fashion to Percy Harvin, by just getting the ball in his hands.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Eric Ebron, TE, North Carolina -- Having just missed on the top two wide receivers and not likely to pick a quarterback the first round, the Bucs instead add a playmaking tight end to their roster. The Bucs have a big hole there and Ebron is the type of tight end that can change how an offense operates.

8. Minnesota Vikings: Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M -- Despite head coach Mike Zimmer throwing a wet blanket on the Manziel pro day, the Vikings opt to grab the potential playmaker in the first round to compete for their starting job. The Vikings are in dire need of someone at the position who can make things happen.

9. Buffalo Bills: Khalil Mack, OLB/DE, Buffalo -- And not just because he's local, but with the pass catchers all off the board and the Bills unlikely to take another first round quarterback, the team might as well add to their defensive pass rush.

10. Detroit Lions: Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan -- The Lions have continuously tried to address the left tackle position the past few years but have ended up with a bunch of guys who ended up better on the right side. Lewan should be able to come in right away and compete to be their starting left tackle.

11. Tennessee Titans: Anthony Barr, OLB, UCLA -- The Titans are transitioning to a 3-4 defensive front, so they'll want to find some pass rushers and linebackers who fit. Barr can play opposite fellow Bruin Akeem Ayers in the 3-4 front.

12. New York Giants: Aaron Donald, DT, Pittsburgh -- The Giants have a need on the interior of their defensive line and adding a player like Donald can help them shore up the middle as well as add to their pass rush.

13. St. Louis Rams: HaHa Clinton-Dix, S, Alabama -- The Rams need help at the safety position and Clinton-Dix should be able to come in right away, start and be an upgrade on their defense.

14. Chicago Bears: Timmy Jernigan, DT, FSU -- With Aaron Donald off the board the Bears go to the defensive tackle well and pick up a disruptive interior player in Jernigan.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers: Morgan Moses, OT, Virginia -- The Steelers have continuously ignored the offensive tackle position for years, but they're finally forced to address the issue in 2014 because I made them do it.

16. Dallas Cowboys: Ra'Shede Hageman, DT, Minnesota -- The Cowboys need a complete re-vamp of their defensive line and Hageman can inject some talent into the interior.

17. Baltimore Ravens: Zack Martin, OT, Notre Dame -- The Ravens shored up left tackle re-signing Eugene Monroe but they still have a big need on the right side, one Martin can fill.

18. New York Jets: Odell Beckham Jr., WR, LSU -- While the Jets signed Eric Decker in free agency, they still need more pass catchers for Geno Smith or Michael Vick to be successful.

19. Miami Dolphins: Cyrus Kouandjio, OT, Alabama -- The Dolphins need help on the offensive line, especially on the right side. Even with his knee concerns, Kouandjio can start right away and improve their line.

20. Arizona Cardinals: Calvin Pryor, S, Louisville -- His helmet doesn't change much as the Cardinals had a hard-hitting well-rounded safety to their back seven. The team needs help stopping the run in a division with the Seahawks and 49ers.

21. Green Bay Packers: Jimmie Ward, S, NIU -- The Packers need some help in the secondary and adding Ward instantly gives them an upgrade at the free safety position.

22. Philadelphia Eagles: C.J. Mosely, ILB, Alabama -- While the easy play here is to give the Eagles a wide receiver, I think someone like Mosely would fit perfectly in transitioning to take over for DeMeco Ryans.

23. Kansas City Chiefs: Brandin Cooks, WR, Oregon State -- The Chiefs need to add some more playmakers on the offensive side of the ball, namely in the passing game.

24. Cincinnati Bengals: Kony Ealy, DE, Missouri -- The Bengals lost Michael Johnson in free agency and while their defensive line overall is very good, adding a cost-controlled end opposite Dunlap will let them keep it together.

25. San Diego Chargers: Louis Nix, DT, Notre Dame -- The Chargers need some beef in the middle of their odd front and Nix can fill that role right away.

26. Cleveland Browns: Kyle Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech -- The Browns need some additions to their secondary and slotting in Fuller opposite Joe Haden should do the trick.

27. New Orleans Saints: Dee Ford, DE/LB, Aurburn -- The Saints need to add some pass rush to their defensive front and Ford should be able to give them pressure off the edge.

28. Carolina Panthers: Kelvin Benjamin, WR, FSU -- The Panthers need a wide receiver, especially one who can threaten vertically. Despite some questionable hands and route running, Benjamin can do that as well as serve as a mis-match in the redzone.

29. New England Patriots: LaMarcus Joyner, S/CB, FSU -- The Patriots need help in their secondary seemingly always and adding someone like Joyner will allow them to play a versatile defensive back who can play the nickel or safety spot.

30. San Francisco 49ers: Davante Adams, WR, Fresno State -- It seems the 49ers are trying to find an injection of speed at the wide receiver position and Adams can provide that.

31. Denver Broncos: Xavier Su'a Filo, OG, UCLA -- The Broncos lost Zane Beadlers in free agency and Filo is an instant upgrade at the position and Day 1 starter.

32. Seattle Seahawks: Antonio Richardson, OT, Tennessee -- I have no idea what to pick for the Seahawks but I know they need an upgrade at right tackle and there we go.