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Dear Chaps

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Your boy fielded some questions from the internet users on twitter dot com. I will now respond to those questions.

Robertus Pudyanto

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> what is this rumble in my tummy?</p>&mdash; iplaythetuba (@iplaythetuba) <a href="https://twitter.com/iplaythetuba/statuses/491619437481824256">July 22, 2014</a></blockquote>

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In my opinion (IMO) the rumbly in your tummy is early onset diarrhea. Diarrhea is one of the most pure forms of shame that a man or woman can experience in his or her life. There are many causes of diarrhea. One of those causes is life. Diarrhea has been a constant part of my life since late summer of 2007. There hasnt been an Easter outfit of mine that has remain unsullied since 1987.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p>Multiple people have told me that my hair looks good today. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> </p>&mdash; Derek Schmerek (@JAGDrummer) <a href="https://twitter.com/JAGDrummer/statuses/491620814631223296">July 22, 2014</a></blockquote>

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That's really cool. Very handsome. Very nice.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> I’m not creative enough to send you a fancy question, Chaps. How do I become more twittertaining? <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a></p>&mdash; summer is the worst (@tikkikki) <a href="https://twitter.com/tikkikki/statuses/491624579908251649">July 22, 2014</a></blockquote>

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One of the best ways to entertain people on the internet site twitter dot com is by posting pictures of various animals with the caption "booty had me like." People also really seem to enjoy similes and metaphors about the level of whiteness of cocaine. Try something like "Cocaine so white that it assumes that Ace Sanders is getting suspended for weed."

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> How do I stop a deer from eating my petunias when it is outside of hunting season?</p>&mdash; Jimbo (@JimboRad) <a href="https://twitter.com/JimboRad/statuses/491971897031016448">July 23, 2014</a></blockquote>

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I would suggest spraying human urine all around the edges of your house. If I know one thing about deer it is that deer absolutely loathe a human who urinates in bushes. They cant stand it. Deer are very clean creatures. They will not eat flowers that are soaked in human waste, be it solid or liquid or a combination of those.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> I’m too cheap to get a haircut and I now have <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadHair?src=hash">#DadHair</a>. Shave or keep? <a href="http://t.co/YQtPlvc09W">pic.twitter.com/YQtPlvc09W</a></p>&mdash; Soll Falls Down (@SollyeWest) <a href="https://twitter.com/SollyeWest/statuses/491972285494874112">July 23, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Would.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> What&#39;s the most underrated thing about living in Texas?</p>&mdash; Bill McNeal (@imbillmcneal) <a href="https://twitter.com/imbillmcneal/statuses/491972653532471296">July 23, 2014</a></blockquote>

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I have never once had a deer try to eat my petunias. I cant be certain if the lack of deer that eat my petunias is due to my lack of petunias or if it is in fact because of the amount of urine surrounding my property. Either way, I live in Texas. Also, I enjoy horchatas.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> Can we get a &quot;Chaps the Baker&quot;  vine of you drinking a smoothie made out of pork butt? Please and thank you.</p>&mdash; RumfordJohnny (@RumfordJohnny) <a href="https://twitter.com/RumfordJohnny/statuses/491971688238940160">July 23, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Hxgtyfh_medium

via i.imgur.com

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> would prolly take off if chaps ever answered them imho.</p>&mdash; Soll Falls Down (@SollyeWest) <a href="https://twitter.com/SollyeWest/statuses/491979776362442752">July 23, 2014</a></blockquote>

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OHHHHHH WOOORRRLLLDDD STTTTAAARRRRRRR

Also, the Jaguars are starting training camp. See, this was kind of about sports.