His hair was sticky from the sweet tea that he had poured over his head by mistake. "I thought that clear jug was filled with water a few minutes ago," he chuckled to a teammate who was talking on a bluetooth hands free device. "I was wrong, though. It was tea and now I'm all sticky. Momma said there would be days like this." His teammate was still not paying attention.
After Andrew Luck washed the sweet tea from his hair, he thought about how far he'd made it. "I cant believe I walked all the way in here from all the way over there," he said to himself with a big toothy grin. "That's a long walk."
After he dried himself, groin first and then face, he pulled his skid-mark stained underwear nearly to his nipples. "I need support fellas," he told the empty locker room. Following his routine of spritzing thirty sprays of Axe Body Spray, Andrew Luck was ready for his day.
"Siri, where can I meet ladies," he spoke into his phone not realizing that his phone was turned off. "This thing never works." Removing the spit that had dripped on his chin, Luck began to make his way to the best spot in town: Dave and Busters.
Luck bursted into the Dave and Busters and made his way to the ski-ball racks. "We meet again," he whispered. Luck pulled out his platinum membership card and laid it on the counter and waited for the balls to appear. He waited. And waited. And waited.
Two waitresses were eying Andrew Luck. "He does this every week. It's so cute. He's just so used to having things handed to him that he believes the ski-balls will just show up if he waits long enough. One time he waited for over 3 and half hours. He wasnt phased though. He just kept smiling and humming to himself."
"What does he hum?"
"It's hard to say for certain but Im pretty positive that it's the song Whoomp There It Is by Tag Team."
"Oh my gosh. He's so cute. Like a dumb baby penguin."
"The best part of the humming is that when he gets to a curse word in the song, he pauses. Almost like a radio edit."
"But he's not actually saying the words of the song right? He's just humming."
"Yes," she belly laughed. "He edits his humming."
The waitresses walked over.
"Hello, Andrew. Welcome back."
"How do you know my name?"
"Well you come here all the time, and you are wearing your Colts jersey with a name tag on the front that says 'Hi. Im Andrew."
"Oh yeah. Mr. Irsay gave me these one night before we went driving. He fell asleep at the wheel in the middle of the intersection, so I ran home. He must have been really tired because he still hasnt come back to work yet."
The girls didnt know what to say.
"Oh. Ok Andrew. There's a fan that wants to meet you and take a picture with you. Will that be ok?"
"Sure! I love fans." Scanning the room like he does the football field, Luck spotted the fan and ran over to it. He completely ignored the "Slippery when wet" sign and plowed into the kitchen's door. Andrew wrapped his big arms around an industrial sized fan that was on full blast drying the the floors of the kitchen which were soaked from the dishwasher overflowing. "Say cheese," Andrew bellowed.
One of the waitresses, Annie, held up her hands like she was holding a camera and made a clicking noise. Meanwhile, Rosie was adding two hundred dollars to the ski-ball machine. Luck walked back over to his ski-ball machine and threw his arms in victory. It was time to play.
Luck began to remove his pants. (To be continued)