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Dear Chaps #2

A weekly article where people ask me questions, and I answer those questions. Kinda.

Last week I absolutely crushed Dear Chaps. No doubt about that. Moving on though. Cant stare at your championship banners forever.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> what&#39;s the best home remedy for thigh chaffing?</p>&mdash; Tim Shade Machine (@MadeByTim) <a href="https://twitter.com/MadeByTim/statuses/494948777514397697">July 31, 2014</a></blockquote>

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For about ten years now, I havent left the house without generously coating my inner thighs with peanut butter. Peanut butter, according to Oxford's English Dictionary, is rooted deeply in the French. The French like peanuts because they like creamy shit. Everyone knows that. Cream helps things not be dry. Think about it. Have you ever had dry cream? I havent. Cream your thighs with peanut butter.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> If you wanna be the man do you gotta beat the man?</p>&mdash; The System (@tealtalk) <a href="https://twitter.com/tealtalk/statuses/494950365096587264">July 31, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Wow. This is the kinda culture that we have now. Violence isnt the answer. If you want to be the man, kiss him.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> Did <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/dearchaps?src=hash">#dearchaps</a> happen yet?</p>&mdash; Tibbitts R Us (@ztibbitts) <a href="https://twitter.com/ztibbitts/statuses/494194903488790529">July 29, 2014</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> about to be a dad again any day now. Been 7 years since the last one. Does baby shit still smell terrible?</p>&mdash; Jimbo (@JimboRad) <a href="https://twitter.com/JimboRad/statuses/493944898681196545">July 29, 2014</a></blockquote>

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It's not that bad. My daughter's diapers smell like terrorism blended with cuban food.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> &#10;I thought I sent 2 tweets back in July &#10;But I might could&#39;ve been high&#10;They probably ended up saved in my draft box or somethin</p>&mdash; Hoeless Joe Jackson  (@AbeBroman) <a href="https://twitter.com/AbeBroman/statuses/494950747008540675">July 31, 2014</a></blockquote>

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-____-

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/UncleChaps">@UncleChaps</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DearChaps?src=hash">#DearChaps</a> how do you feel about <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/DeerChaps?src=hash">#DeerChaps</a>?</p>&mdash; Mike Rooff (@Rufio904) <a href="https://twitter.com/Rufio904/statuses/494951748495081475">July 31, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Kinda sucks, tbh.