It's Tell The Truth Monday™ here at Big Cat Country and I'm going to lay some knowledge on you Jaguars fans: Jaguars fans are the problem with this franchise. That's right. You. Your the problem.
The Jaguars spent the entire off-season telling us that they wanted More from us. More tickets. More parking passes. More tshirts. More jerseys. More concessions. More. More. More. But you didn't give them more. Yeah it's cute that several thousand of you drove to Tampa for the game, but face it; you would have done the same for a Jimmy Buffett concert too. The Jaguars don't deserve you. You haven't given MORE. How about you fans give the Jaguars more?
I hear all of y'all talking about how Gus Bradley is a bad coach. Well guess what? Maybe he doesn't have all of his players because they are injured! Did you think about that? You can't ask a carpenter to build you a new set of cabinets if he ain't got him a saw or a hammer, right? Gus Bradley doesn't have his saws or hammers. It's not like you couldn't do a better job anyway.
All you people think Gus Bradley should be some kind of drill sergeant out there on the sidelines. Well how about I go to your workplace and tear into you like you're a loser and scream at you all day? You think that will make you work better? Will it make you type faster? I didn't think so, chump.
Furthermore, it's pretty poor form to ask for someone to get fired anyway. I don't see you rolling up to your job like Stone Cold Steve Austin and asking for your boss to get fired. Nope, you're just going to take it. Do you go to restaurants and ask for the manager's head when they get your order wrong, do you? I didn't think so, loser.
Jaguar fans are just a bunch of entitled Millenials these days. What with your loud hip hop music and tight jeans. In my day we used to be happy with consistent playoff appearances and a team that didn't look like complete garbage on the field. I don't get it. You people expect a team to be at least passable on the field? Well good luck. The NFL is a professional league. Not everyone can look competent all the time. Bunch of self-entitled brats. You people think you can snap your fingers and expect an NFL team to not block when they're supposed to tackle. What a bunch of instant-gratification losers.
What I'm trying to say is that this team deserves patience. It's built, but it's not open yet. The building inspector has to make sure the foundation isn't all jacked up and the wiring won't short out. The Jaguars are built, but they aren't open for business yet. So be patient, Jags fans. Give the team More.
Editor's note: Spanish Language Commentary is a satire section. Mostly.