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Jaguars morning game cocktail recipes

The Jaguars suck, let's get drunk at 9:30am.

The 0-3 Jacksonville Jaguars will make their fourth-ever trip across the pond on Sunday. The team will face off against the 1-2 Indianapolis Colts at 1:30pm London time.

Half a world away, most Jaguars fans will be stuck watching a "home game" at 9:30am. Thanks a lot, Sir Sandford Fleming.

To celebrate the early Sunday kickoff, I've listed a few of my favorite morning cocktails --€” Jaguars style. Because let's be real --€” no matter how early the game is, you're still going to have to drink your way through it.

WARNING: I'm going to drink and rate each of these concoctions as I write this article. Oh boy, this could get messy. Let's get started.




Blue Gatorade

Description: Mimosas are probably the most appropriate cocktails to consume at breakfast time. But let's face it --€” they're just a fancy excuse to get drunk off of your morning OJ. So go ahead and ditch the orange juice. I made a Jaguars-themed mimosa by combining the cheapest champagne I could find with some blue Gatorade.

Analysis: It doesn't taste great. It's not even necessarily pretty. Shit, it's not even that teal.

...but isn't that a perfect portrayal of the Jaguars as a team? Hmm.

Rating: 5.5/10

The Bloody Bortles



Tomato Juice






Description: A Bloody Mary seems like another appropriate choice for a 9:30am kickoff. I threw some bacon in there to make it even more breakfast-y, and I named it after Blake since he probably drinks seven of these before each game.

Analysis: It's vegetables so it's good for you.

Rating: 7/10

The Myles Jack and Coke


Jack Daniels



Description: Okay okay, this one is a stretch. All I did was pour a happy-hour drink and shove bacon in it. I know it's not a breakfast cocktail. Whatever. It has a Jaguars reference in the name. Leave me alone.

Analysis: My bacon is soggy

Rating: 6.9/10

UPDATE: oops I had three

The Gus Sadley


Jack Daniels


Description: I ran out of bacon

Analysis: the Jags can still go 9-7 if they win 9 more games

Rating: I'll tell YOU when I've had enough

Glass of Bourbon



dEscripsion: leabe me alone

Anal sis: fire gus BADley, just leave his ass in London because hes bloody awful his win loss percentage is lower than my current BAC

Rating: njkhgokjnhb vvvj