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5 questions with The Falcoholic: “There are no good 28-3 jokes, next question”

NFL: Arizona Cardinals at Atlanta Falcons Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

The Jacksonville Jaguars and Atlanta Falcons will face off in their preseason finales on Thursday night at 7:30pm EST.

It’s a meaningless Week 4 game with rosters and practice squads mostly figured out and starters unlikely to leave the bench. With so little at stake in the game, we brought Dave Choate of to add to the void.

1. What is your favorite Brendan Fraser movie and why?

The Mummy. It's still a great popcorn flick, Fraser's wide-eyed Canadian adventurer act has aged remarkably well, and the whole thing is just good enough to make up for its startling cheesiness. It is the high water mark of his career and I'll not hear otherwise.

2. Do you believe in an afterlife?

I don't! I tend to think that if there's any sort of consciousness that carries on after death, it's in the form of the indestructible information that lives on in every quark and atom of what was once our bodies, and I have no idea what that would look/feel like. Otherwise I think it's probably just an infinitely long, dreamless sleep, which doesn't sound so terrible when you sleep as little as I do.

3. What's your favorite conspiracy theory?

The one about a UFO crash landing in the desert, being picked up by the U.S. military, and used in all sorts of crazy technology development and freaky alien science. I'm pretty sure we've learned by now that if something like that had happened, it would be on the Interwebs by now. Plus we don't have any badass flying saucers.

4. Do you have a favorite 28-3 joke?

There are no good 28-3 jokes, next question.

5. Is Matt Schaub better than any quarterback the Jaguars currently have?

He's not, though it's probably closer than any of us feel good about admitting. Schaub is an interception machine with a declining arm, though he remains a savvy short passer. If Bortles could steal his mechanics and maybe entire brain, he'd probably be better, but Bortles still objectively has more talent at this stage of his career. Ditto Henne.