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Local Jacksonville couple lost and confused as to where to donate their old Jaguars clothes

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A local Jacksonville couple is lost and presumed confused after wandering to EverBank Field and dumping their clothes on a jaguar statue outside the gates.

Sandy, 63, and Mark, 65, were last seen on Wednesday afternoon at 1 EverBank Drive. It isn’t known whether they were looking to donate their clothes or if they thought they were in a laundromat.

“I just don’t like to mix my football with politics,” Sandy said as her phone began to ring at a volume unacceptable in public. It took her nine rings to realize it was her phone going off despite the fact it took her at least 90 minutes to decide on what ringtone to finally go with.

After accidentally going to FaceTime before hanging up, Sandy continued:

“I just don’t like politics in football. Players should stand for the anthem and honor this flag and military before you play. Political gestures have no place on the field. Stand up and be American.”

Sandy’s husband Mark then interjected before hurrying away with his wife.

“I am not a racist but I do grill my steaks well done and I don’t really think Blake is the issue.”

Both declined to comment on the rise of documented acts of police brutality disproportionately committed against people of color in America.

“FLAGS,” Mark yelled as he got into his 2007 Ford Taurus and drove slowly away, not using his turn signal before going straight in a left turn only lane.

Friends of Sandy and Mark said the couple were absent from their weekly 5:30pm Wednesday dinner at Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar in Baymeadows. If you have any information as to the whereabouts of Sandy and Mark, please contact the Big Cat Country team at (212)-479-7990.