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The Jacksonville Jaguars are planning to offer up teal hamburgers, teal ice cream, teal beer, and teal everything else except for the goddamn jerseys we asked for all week and nope.
Okay, I will drink the beer. Probably.
But the hamburger? Nope.
The soft serve ice cream? Nope.
Those Tootsie Roll things you only eat if you’re already dead inside sprinkled around the burger and the raspberry-flavored lollipops? Blake Bortles gives me heartburn enough on Sundays, you monsters.
And it seems I’m not the only one horrified by the Jaguars’ efforts.
another reason to avoid concessions at the stadium https://t.co/kuwYay7gFP
— MadeByTim (@MadeByTim) January 4, 2018
We just wanted teal jerseys you weirdos @Jaguars
— playoff Med (@god_hates_jags) January 4, 2018
Nice try. I'll never shit teal and that's a promise. https://t.co/5dZPgSTpuX
— chaps (@UncleChaps) January 4, 2018
The @Jaguars are unveiling a teal-themed menu for Sunday's playoff game. Are you ready?
— SNF on NBC (@SNFonNBC) January 4, 2018
@delawarenorth pic.twitter.com/VwbbGtuCNk
I just couldn’t eat that burger with them buns bruh https://t.co/aHrbx6E2Qr
— New Year, Same Old Ben (@BenCNU804) January 4, 2018
— Woot and Wye NFL (@WootandWye) January 4, 2018
I am going to get peer pressured into getting this this weekend. https://t.co/fTFBH8mtOz
— Trevor Sikkema (@TampaBayTre) January 4, 2018
Go Jaguars.