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Jaguars Fans Anonymous: “BLAKE BORTLES IS WORSE THAN JAMARCUS RUSSELL!”

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The season is over. The playoffs ain’t happening. We are angry. We are frustrated. We are Jaguars.

Pittsburgh Steelers v Jacksonville Jaguars Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images

Good morning, everyone! Are you upset at your hometown Jacksonville Jaguars? Maybe it’s the idiotically short-sighted decisions of the front office. Maybe it’s the fact that we refuse to bench a right-handed Tim Tebow. Whatever you’re mad at, we at Big Cat Country want you to know we hear you and we accept you.

From now until the end of the season, we’ll be taking your anonymous rants, ravings, vent sessions, and suggestions on how to get better after every game. The DMs are open at @BigCatCountry.

This week — the Jaguars just gave up a 16-point lead to blow it in the final five seconds and lose their sixth game in a row!

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“BORTLES AS QUARTERBACK. THIS MAN IS THE MOST ASS MOTHERF*CKER TO EVER TOUCH A FOOTBALL IN THE HISTORY OF EXISTENCE. THIS DUDE IS F*CKING WORSE THAN JAMARCUS RUSSELL. JOHNNY UNITAS WOULD BE A BETTER QUARTERBACK AND HE’S DEAD. THIS SHIT IS BEYOND RIDICULOUS MAN.”

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“As I was walking past the season ticket holder legacy wall a very old couple (old man, wife in a walker) were staring at their names under the inaugural season group of names. They put a piece of tape over their names and silently exited into the crowd. Absolutely heartbreaking.”

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“What’s Chad Henne up to?”

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“It’s time to move Barry Church and Tashaun Gipson into a home.”

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“It’s bad enough I had to watch the Jags blow a 16-point lead to the Steelers but to have to listen to Tony Romo while they did it made it that much worse.”

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Whatever assholes were flying the MAGA 2020 flag from the suite above 231, it made my day to be that guy and snitch them out to the assist number, and watch it disappear a little while later.

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“I cried after this game.”

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“Do you wanna know the most disappointing part of this team? All offseason we had to listen to all the media and TV tell us it was a fluke, they ain’t that good. We defended them, saying how disrespected we were and how dare they! We beat New England and we all were like TOLD YA! only to realize it was Week 3 and we forgot we’re Jaguars fans.”

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“Kill me.”

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“Bortles is a walking garbage can and if Myles Jack got his rightful touchdown Bortles would’ve imploded against the Eagles everyone in America would’ve seen and we could have moved on then and there. This is the only season I have ever expected us to actually be f*cking good and this shit show came to town.”

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“I’m just mad and sad.”

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“Condoleezza Rice would be a better offensive coordinator than Nathaniel Hackett.”

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“Launch Coughlin, Bortles, Hackett and Caldwell into the sun.”

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“At this point trading Blake for a half baked grilled cheese would make me happy.”

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“How is an offensive coordinator so inept that he can’t even call a simple QB draw on third down to seal the game? THE F*CKING TITANS ARE SMART ENOUGH TO DO IT IN OUR OWN BUILDING WHY CANT WE?”

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“I nearly lost two fingers in a food shredder at work yesterday and that was the second worst pain I experienced this weekend, behind watching Blake Bortles miss a wide open DJ Chark with no pressure and instead bailing and taking a sack in the fourth quarter.”

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“Would shooting myself in the leg be more painful than watching this offense?”

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“King Ramsey, first of his name, won the damn game single-handedly and the offense and Hackett pissed the game away. If there is ever a whiff of Ramsey being traded or let go in free agency, I will swear off football for the rest of my life. Which in foresight will keep my marriage together for at least one more season.”

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“Too much dumbassery on offense.”

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“Is it too early to start posting mock drafts?”

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If you have anything to say, feel free to DM us at @BigCatCountry. We’re always open.