Welcome to the first installment of From The Front Desk! Here we break down the latest in team happenings. Let’s get right to it.
Local man runs 41 yards to try new stadium concessions
What’s cookin’ good lookin’? Not much, unless you’re at
Everbank TIAA Bank Field Club Arena Hibachi Grill Stadium. I’m sure you’ve heard by now. There’s going to be new concessions at The Bank for the 2018 season. However many, including myself, are skeptical of the new items. Surely we’ve had a history of good concessions to fall back on in case there were ever ANY doubts...
Yikes! I wonder what the demand for these concessions will be. There are some interesting dishes on there, including items like jambalaya, buffalo chicken or pulled pork mac & cheese, monster pizza, and street tacos. I did a little investigating of my own, and camped out in front of the stadium to get a feel for the demand. I must say, I was impressed.
The same man pictured also happens to be a local food critiqué, and his opinion is worth following. Here’s what he had to say on the new concessions:
The pulled pork mac and cheese and the chicken/andouille jambalaya were https://t.co/0mL1IVzObr— Michael DiRocco (@ESPNdirocco) September 10, 2018
I managed to dig around and find footage of a local Jax Beach man running at a breakneck pace to be first in line for the new concessions. Unfortunately some dude named Keelan- probably a townie- heard and insulted his weight.
Keelan Cole on Blake Bortles’ 41-yard run: "I see he got tired. I called him fat for it." https://t.co/F8m8xjHJmg pic.twitter.com/ryNuIgitUQ— Big Cat Country (@BigCatCountry) September 10, 2018
Someone please @ me on Twitter and prove how horribly wrong I am when the chef inevitably reads this and prepares delicious concessions. You’re welcome!
Obituaries: Week 1
Merriam Webster defines a roast to mean absolute flames directed unto a person or entity, but I define it to be:
Retweeting this is what Hanx would have wanted. https://t.co/5qYUQc9iQy— Ryan Day (@ryaneatscake) September 10, 2018
Congrats Ryan Day for winning the Week 1 ROTW (Roast of the Weak). Your prize is a gym date with Leon Jacobs. Speaking of which:
In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Speaking of Jesus, it’s looking like the Titans will need divine intervention to get through this season. I’m officially putting a dagger on their playoff hopes after reading this tweet. Yes, it’s Week 1. Yes, I’m injecting this tweet into my veins.
Blaine Gabbert at QB for Tennessee Titans. Marcus Mariota, banged up, had thrown interceptions on consecutive drives #MIAvsTEN— Joe Schad (@schadjoe) September 9, 2018
It’s okay y’all, just drown your sorrows with mayo.
Wreck of the week
This section is partly inspired by its namesake, for whom I’m going to award first: Ereck Flowers. Imagine seeing a 6’-8”, 290 pound behemoth and thinking this:
In Ereck Flowers' answers today, one thing stood out: he said on first play, he didn't know Calais Campbell was more of power guy, not speed guy. He got caught cheating for a speed rush and was beaten inside.— Art Stapleton (@art_stapleton) September 10, 2018
I wish I followed up, but my first thought was: no scouting report?
Oh wait, you thought it couldn’t get better? This is the rep he’s talking about:
Ereck Flowers’ blocking technique is impeccable pic.twitter.com/ze6oXSgQie— Adam Stites (@AdamStites_) September 9, 2018
And that’s all she wrote, folks. If you want to make me laugh or have ideas for another category, tweet me with your terrible takes. Let’s make this a weekly thing and make this season fun. Lord knows we could use more of Lenny’s Instagram stories.
Sent from my iPhone