Okay, let’s get started.
Request to the Commish
I am writing to you in regards of the upcoming Week 5 matchup between the Jacksonville Jaguars #DUUVAL (™?) and the Kansas City Chiefs (feat. Patrick “Did you know he was a baseball player?“ Mahomes).
First off, the football gods couldn’t have gifted you a better game. But you wouldn’t know that if it hit you in the face. So what can you do about flexing that matchup to a Sunday night game?
Hell, let this be the official rallying cry of the movement #GENJAG.COMMYLESJACKWASN’TDOWN.
Roast of the week
titans are just owning it now huh pic.twitter.com/CYgXusqI1L— MadeByTim (@MadeByTim) September 19, 2018
I cannot wait for Andrew Norwell to pancake him all the way to Hellmann’s headquarters. Congrats to MadeByTim on winning the Roast of the Week!
Murder, She Wrote
Gather round children, and listen to this tale of those pesky ‘ole Jaggywars.
And that’s how you retire a team.
(Milk) Dud of the week
This is a Blake Bortles stan account pic.twitter.com/bwH1VFmcIi— med ⛵️ (@medBCB) September 18, 2018
The most interesting piece of information to come out of this is that Leonard Fournette smells like mayonnaise, according to Blake Bortles. Because of this, I don’t think he’ll have a good game Sunday, The Titans — especially Jurrell Casey — are known for their innate mayo detection senses (M.A.Y.D.A.R.) to seek out mayo-like scents and feast on them.
It’s been shown to sustain them for weeks.
Leonard gets 20 carries for 65 yards. That’s my prediction. We’ll still win though.