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Happy April Fools’ Day: Here’s every Jaguars thing that could have been a joke but wasn’t

The Jaguars really Jaguars’d their way through the last 12 months. Here’s everything that could have been an April Fools’ Day joke but (unfortunately!) wasn’t.

The last 12 months have been... tough... for Jacksonville Jaguars fans. It seems that every week something happened that in retrospect (or even in the moment!) seemed like a joke but, sadly, was not.

So, in lieu of an April Fools’ Day article that you will yell at us on Twitter about not being funny (despite the fact it racks up tens of thousands of clicks) here is a chronology over the last 12 months of stories we wish weren’t real.

April 1, 2018

We are five weeks removed from Blake Bortles re-signing with the Jaguars. The front office had the option to go with his fifth year option, thereby taking on zero cap responsibilities after 2018 but instead they chose to restructure, pay him less this season, and bet on him not crapping the bed.

Unfortunately, he crapped the bed.

April 26, 2018

The Jaguars made Taven Bryan their first round draft pick and you could almost hear the collective “Who?” all over the state.

I ran a poll last week asking if my followers had ever heard of Taven Bryan before we drafted him. More than 68 percent of them said no.

April 30, 2018

The Jaguars signed Malik Zaire. He hasn’t thrown a touchdown since 2016.

July 3, 2018

We published this.

July 10, 2018

Madden releases their ratings for their latest game. Leonard Fournette received an 87 overall. Austin Seferian-Jenkins is an 81 overall. Blake Bortles is an 80 overall.

August 12, 2018

Dante Fowler and Yannick Ngakoue got into a little fight after practice. Phillip Heilman, a reporter with the Florida Times-Union filmed it and then tweeted it. Jalen Ramsey then tweeted at the reporter and earned a suspension during a meaningless preseason game for it. Go Jaguars.

August 15, 2018

Jalen Ramsey goes nuclear on just about every quarterback in the league in this GQ article just weeks before our 5-11 season begins.

August 18, 2018

The Jaguars ran this play in a real live NFL game. (And scored.)

September 17, 2018

We beat the New England Patriots to start 2-0 and Blake Bortles had (statistically) the game of his life.

October 27, 2018

Four Jaguars players racked up a $64,000 bill in a London nightclub, reportedly refused to pay it, and went to jail.

November 4, 2018

It was reported that the Jaguars turned down a trade deal involving Dante Fowler for Teddy Bridgewater straight up.

November 11, 2018

Leonard Fournette has his first game of the year with over 20 touches. He would only have two more for the rest of the season.

November 18, 2018

The Jaguars had a 16-0 lead going into the third quarter against the Pittsburgh Steelers. They ended up losing 20-16 on the final play of the game.

December 2, 2018

Cody Kessler is starting. The Indianapolis Colts come to town. We only score three field goals and still beat them.

December 30, 2018

Blake Bortles’ final throw with the Jaguars was an interception. Keats couldn’t have written it any better.

December 31, 2018

With the season over, first round draft pick Taven Bryan has tallied one more sack than anyone reading this in his rookie season.

February 18, 2019

Jalen Ramsey not only agrees with us, he unblocks us on Twitter.

March 6, 2019

We laughed at the idea of Nick Foles getting $20 million per year.

March 14, 2019

We sign Nick Foles for about $20 million per year.

April 1, 2019

Go Jaguars.