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Good morning, everyone! The Jacksonville Jaguars just melted in the Florida sun against the Kansas City Chiefs. It’s only Week 1 and we probably shouldn’t overreact to what looks like an outlier — but that’s not what this column is about.
From now until the end of the season, we’ll be taking your anonymous rants, ravings, vent sessions, and suggestions on how to get better. Because it’s all about getting better.
The DMs are always open at @BigCatCountry.
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“The Minshow must go on! Gonna get drunk on the Minbrew and forget the defensive performance from today ever happened! Optimism is funner than pessimism.”
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“Just... one goddamn good thing please?”
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“I feel sad but not surprised.”
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“Taven Bryan is slowly worming himself out the door.”
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“Honestly i feel like were in a fucking movie.”
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“Fire everyone.”
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“Serious question — how has Todd Wash not been fired? His play calling is so damn predictable and he makes no adjustments.”
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“The defense out there today was not a top-5 defense, it wasn’t Sacksonville, it wasn’t the unit that gave Tom Brady a hard time for three quarters a few years ago. It was a complete and utter fucking joke.”
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“Is T.J. Ward still available?”
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“Is there any other way this could have gone? Best pass thrown since Mark Brunell — four seconds later, season over.”
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“Why would anyone swing at a player who has a helmet on?”
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“10 years of the same old shit and because I gave up beer for a time I now have to resort to shotgunning White Claws to keep my sanity. Thanks Obama.”
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“It’s sucks that Nick Foles is out, but when Gardner Minshew was out on the field today, it genuinely did not feel like the sky was falling.”
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“Honestly I’m more upset that I’m going to have to begrudgingly agree with Gene Frenette’s harsh but true takes for another season.”
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“I feel like the Jaguars losing but Gardner Minshew going 22-for-25 is like getting told you don’t have to clean your house anymore because it burned down.”
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If you have anything to say, feel free to DM us at @BigCatCountry. We’re always open.