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Let’s answer some questions as we head into the DEAD ZONE, folks! Some of them are about the Jacksonville Jaguars, some are about ice cream, some are about King of the Hill — all are welcome!
Erik from Jacksonville, FL
Q: Tonight, my daughter wanted a popsicle for dessert instead of going to The Dreamette. What am I doing wrong?
A: You’re not doing anything wrong. In fact, I would argue you’re doing something right. You see, you’re helping your daughter discover a range of delicious desserts. Her palette is only getting more refined for after-dinner treats. While I personally think The Dreamette is the best ice cream spot in Jacksonville (and have countless memories going there as a kid) it’s never a bad thing when a kid wants to branch out and try new desserts. It will likely serve as a learning tool — she chose popsicles once but now she knows just how much better Dreamette can be. Frankly, Erik, you’re setting her up for success. Every group needs one friend who can rattle off a few dessert options. That’s a valuable addition to any friend group. And when she gets a little older, I have to imagine her date will be all the more impressed that she is well versed in the art of desserts. Rejoice, Erik. You done good.
Thomas from Gainesville, FL
Q: How much does Yannick Ngakoue’s trade value decrease after July 15th?
A: Not much. In fact, I think his demand goes up as preseason approaches and the likelihood of injuries increases. The team is willing to part with him, they drafted his replacement — twice! — and Yannick Ngakoue wants to leave. When a team loses their starting edge rusher for the year or sees a chance at their window rapidly closing, they’ll offer what Jacksonville wants.
Jeffrey from Austin, TX
Q: Who is the most underrated King of the Hill character? I’m partial to Buck Strickland.
A: My initial thought was Buck Strickland too, so I went to former Big Cat Country contributor, King of the Hill expert, and Sports Illustrated employee extraordinaire John Shipley for his answer too. His response? “I’d take a bullet for Buck Strickland, Ryan.”
Buck calls Hank “Old Top” and brings out some of the best moments in Bobby — the caddy episode being one of my favorites. One of my favorite quotes in the entire series is also a Buck original: “I’m physically addicted to the good times, Hank!”
Watkins from Jacksonville, FL
Q: Are the Jaguars going to be insane enough to possibly entertain the notion of Colin Kaepernick now because he’s relevant? If so, what happens with the fan base?
A: Well, there won’t be any fans in the stands in 2020, so now is as good a year as ever to sign him. And if he wins games, the fan base won’t care. It’s wild that kneeling during the national anthem has made everyone forget he was once the best running quarterback in the game and incredibly risk-averse as a passer.
Chevin from Jacksonville, FL
Q: Are you going to commission the BCC JASMYN fantasy football league again this year? That was cool.
A: If there’s football, you bet your ass we are. In case you missed it, we ran two leagues and raised over $600 in support of LGBTQ young people in Jacksonville — the organization provides health and wholeness services and offers youth development opportunities to a group of people who really, really need it.
Kevin from Melrose, FL
Q: Do you think any Jaguars players, current or past will make an appearance in AEW eventually?
A: I would love to see Leon Searcy come out with a big ass cigar during his walk up.