JACKSONVILLE – After a lengthy battle with the Jacksonville Jaguars, atheists today succeeded in removing “In Gene We Trust” from the Jaguars in-stadium currency.
Known as “Jag Dollars”, the dollars may be used inside Everbank Field for anything from concessions to merchandise. Jag Dollars also include an artist’s rendering of General Manager Gene Smith.
Renowned atheist and avid Jaguars fan Michael Newdow celebrated following the news. “This is a celebration for all football fans. How can a franchise force my son to recognize the divinity of a general manager whose team is 1-4 at the bye,” said Newdow. “Today we can finally be free.”
The phrase was added in 2010 at the behest of then Jaguars.com senior editor, Vic Ketchum. Ketchum, a veteran writer currently working in Green Bay, consistently and fervently promoted Gene Smith as the greatest general manager in Jaguars history.
“It is appalling and, quite frankly, foolish for the Jaguars to no longer have trust in Gene Smith,” said Ketchum in a phone interview today. “Any professional, and I mean any professional football analyst will tell you, the Genes of this league come only once in a lifetime and the fan base needs to rally around this GM, especially now.”
The new Jag Dollars will now feature the team’s logo along the phrase “All In? Eh, Alright.”
Fans in possession of the old Jag Dollars are encouraged to exchange the old bills for new ones at the Jaguars table near Gate 4 and should refrain from defaming the dollars with “In Geno We Draft.”